12 Big Steps to the Big Pig Out

There's a bit of a delay on this post but here it goes... Last Tuesday I went to a spinning (cycling) class with one of my co-workers. I don't know if you know anything about spinning but prior to going I had heard horror stories about pain in the hooha/booty region and I thought to myself, "That's the last thing I need!" But I go anyway and here's an account of how it went down.

5:15 pm
Locate spinning room. Find bike. Get set up on said bike.

5:20ish
Everyone in the class is pedaling, so I being the new kid on the block followed suit but then I realized the class hasn't started yet. So I ask my co-worker "Why are we pedaling?" And she tells me that it's to get your legs warmed up blah blah blah but then I asked "Isn't there a warm up portion during the class?" She confirmed that there was so I stopped pedaling. Why should I exert MORE energy prior to the class starting?

5:30
Alright here we go...the warm up. Now, for this class the instructor designed 12 steps for our workout, each lasting 30 seconds. So for the warm up we were to do steps 1-3 and I was like okay I can do this. But by Step 2 I was sweating...HARD. And this was JUST the warm up. Not to mention this class is an hour long. Mmhmm sure...

5:33-6:30
By far the hardest workout of my life! Especially the step called "jog to run." You have to stand up on the pedals and jog and then run. Nope not gonna happen. So while everyone is jogging and running I am sitting. Looking at these people sweat and turn red and look miserable. I just couldn't do it. I could do all (a.k.a most) of the other steps albeit at my own pace but there will be no standing and pedaling. No no no.

So the class is over and I'm sweating in places I didn't even know had sweat glands. Hear me when I say, I was soaked down to my SOCKS. Normally, my feet don't sweat but oh boy spinning was a horse of a different color. On top of all of that my ponytail got wet. I just got my hair done on Saturday. Luckily there was a hair appointment the next day. My mother tells facebook that I was not cute when I got home. Thanks, Mom.

Lessons learned/confirmed:
1. Only go to spinning class the day before the hair appointment.
2. Wear a headband...it may help with the edges.
3. Wear full coverage undies
4. Ponytail must be high on the head or tucked under because it will get wet.

Until next time...

Do over!!!

Now that I'm 2 months or so into being 25 I'm realizing that it's not AS bad as I thought it would be. Shocking! Sure, my feeling of lacking purpose hasn't subsided but all in all it's really not the life shattering event I thought it was going to be. Not to mention I was too caught up in the "What ifs" to really even enjoy my birthday. I kept thinking I haven't done this, that or the other things I thought I woulda done by now.

But if I could do it all over again I would:
1. Be grateful...some people didn't make it to 25
2. Enjoy the "compliments" from people who didn't believe I was turning 25 instead of getting mad.
3. Realize that life is toooooo short to worry about all the what ifs. Here and now is what really counts.

With age comes wisdom, right? Here's to many more birthdays to come!

Lacking purpose

Yesterday, as I finished yet another book while getting paid to do so, I asked (more like scolded) myself "What are you doing?" As I looked up and stared into space, at my inner self I suppose, tears stung my eyes and I realized that this is no way to live. I should not be able to get paid to Facebook, Gchat and tweet all day. I know some of you may say, "That sounds awesome." And it was. But now it's annoyingly devastating. I dread going to work every day. Even though I get to travel the country and see all these difference places it no longer matters. The thrill is gone. I'm merely exisiting in this place, this rut that I've found myself in. Complacency has captured me and taken me hostage.


You ever get the feeling that your time and talent are being wasted? Like your current situation sucks so bad that you can't see a way around it? Well, I'm there. Then, today I was reading the September issue of Real Simple and they interviewed five successful people and one of them said "do something you're passionate about" or something like that. And then it hit me, I'm not passionate about what I'm doing professionally and a part of me wonders if I ever was. On the one hand I think "welcome to the rest of your life" but a large part of me wants, needs, deserves more. It's not healthy to wake up each day without a purpose. I go into work, usually late these days, sit at my desk and think about who I can text to pass the time. What should I tweet next? What should my next Facebook status be? That's no way to live! Frankly, I'm wasting my time and my employers money.


I know I should be thankful to have a job and the ability to pay my bills and I am but at what cost? It's not healthy to wake up each day and have to fight myself each step of the way (from the bed to the shower, from the shower to the closet to pick out an outfit that hopefully matches, bedroom to the car and then convince myself to actually get out of the car and into the office building). Unless you're not convinced already I'm telling you this is no way to live. There's so many things I want to do and there's no reason I shouldn't chase my dreams. I can't keep leaning on my fear of student loan debt. I've already got $70K what's a few thousand more? I want to write a book. I want to go to law school. So today I've decided that enough is enough. Upon my return from Spokane, WA (right, another trip in the middle of nowhere), I'm going to start studying for the LSAT. It's always been my dream to go to law school and I've let my financial and professional situation shadow that dream. All I want is to wake up each day and feel like I have a purpose. Like I'm passionate about...something, anything.

*chuckling to myself* I revealed (told on myself) a lot in this one blog. 3 days before my 25th birthday and this is where I find myself. *shrug* Que sera sera, friends.

And as always, thanks for reading.

The Way I See It

This post is an open letter to Anthony Milton II and Cyril Williams, the two men responsible for killing State Trooper Wesley Brown...

Dear Anthony and Cyril,

Even if you may never read this I felt the need to get this off my chest. I must say that I am disappointed in you. No, I don't know you but what I do know is that you have caused a great deal of unnecessary hurt. When will we learn that violence is not the answer? Cyril, you were removed from the Applebees due to your behavior and you come back with a gun 30 minutes later intending to end the life of the office who was doing his job. It looks as if you have succeeded. Congrats! How does it feel? Was it worth it?

You two men are what's wrong with OUR community. What gives you the right to take another life? Because your ego was hurt? I've never seen such disrespect and disregard for another life. It is my hope that the both of you are punished to the full extent of the law. You have embarrased your families and this community. My thoughts and prayers go out to them. You two are two of the reasons why society has a negative outlook on the black community.

Not sure how you thought you were going to get away with this. You should be ashamed of yourself. It's not just that Wesley was a cop but he was a person. Reportedly a good person. And you take it upon yourself to shoot him to ensure your "rep" was intact. Again I say, you should be ashamed of yourselves. There are so many more things I can say but you are a disgrace to your community. Good luck in prison. I'm sure you'll be there for a long time.

I pray that some good comes from this situation. I know we can't see it now but this tragedy may encourage some other young men to turn their lives around and hopefully learn from your mistakes.

Best,
Concerned Citizen

Discovering new love...

I've been holding on to this blog for a few months. Actually more than a few, since January to be exact. Not because I'm shy or anything but mainly because I get annoyed with people's facebook posts declaring their love for their boyfriend/girlfriend. How they can't breathe without them? It's like they worship them. It's actually pretty nauseating. Especially, those younger people, who are barely adults but are convinced the boy they are dating as a sophomore will be around after graduation. Lovely thought but not realistic. Believe me. I've been there. I'm not hating or anything but damn. Anywhoo, I've decided that this blog is my personal (although very public) virtual diary. So, I'll write and express myself however I see fit. Don't like it? Skip this blog.

Here we go...

New love is scary and wonderful at the same time. The wonderfulness (is that a word?) of it all definitely trumps the scary part. While I enjoy discovering his likes, dislikes and what makes him tick I'm also nervous that I may say or do the wrong thing, only because I don't know better. Ya know? It's like...I don't know how to explain it. It's not the type of fear that makes you stop doing things but the kind that makes you cautious. I guess. I've enjoyed every minute of it though. It's been almost a year and my how time flies. I've never enjoyed someone's company as much as I do his. It's weird. Not bad weird just different. I absolutely adore this man. It's like one of those lovestories from movies but it's real. For real. I mean as corny as it may sound that's what it feels like. Without a shadow of doubt I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with this one man. It's crazy. I've dated other guys and thought that I could make it work if I had to but it's different this time.

I enjoy hearing the smile before the laugh. I love the way I fit perfectly in his arms. I love the way our hands find each other while we walk down the street. I love how thoughtful he is. I love how he goes above and beyond to ensure I'm happy. I love the way that he loves me. I love the way he adds me to his plans...life plans...long-term plans. I can't wait to see where our journey goes. *content sigh*

Coming to grips

In approximately 92 days (not that I'm counting) I will be turning 25. Yikes! I've been dreading my 25th birthday probably since I turned 24 and I'm not even REALLY sure why. Could it be that I'm not where I thought I would be when I set up my plans before college? Back then, 25 seemed sooo far away but it came QUICK. I think I set unrealistic goals for myself. I thought by now I'd be married, graduating law school, in a home of my own, etc. However, upon graduation from college reality (i.e. student loans and the real world) set in, slapping me in the face. When I realized that I would graduating undergrad with $80K in loans, the mere thought of applying for more loans to attend law school made me ill. I just couldn't stomach the thought. Along the same lines, owing that much definitely keeps you from saving money to purchase a home/condo/place of your own. I say all this to say that I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that my 17 year old self had no idea what would lie ahead. There's nothing wrong with dreaming big but dreams/hopes have the right to change and alter themselves into reality. I'm not where I thought I'd be and it's okay, I didn't know what I was talking about anyway. LOL. Slowly, over the 90+ days I'll be 100% okay with where I am and who I am right now. I'll worry about who and where I'm supposed to be when I get there.

Moral of the story: You can't plan everything. And that's okay. Things happen when they're supposed to.

Out like the jeri curl

Alright so...I don't know if you've noticed or not but a lot of people, both men and women, are going natural, getting dreads, etc. I often wonder if it's just a phase or fad that will eventually fade away, like the jeri curl, high top fades, etc. I mean, it's cool right now because it seems like the thing to do but for how long? I'm wondering what the next thing will be. Will the perm become popular again? Will people get tired of their dreads? This isn't going to be a long entry but it's something that I've been thinking about. I mean, they say going natural is better for your hair blah blah blah but seriously, what happens when you don't want to be natural anymore? Is it true that you have to shave your head if you decide not to dread (no pun intended) it anymore?

Just curious.