Someone is going to appreciate me...

"Someone is going to appreciate me. I like to rub his feet. I like to cook for him. I sing songs and write him love letters and recite to him poetry from the bottom of my heart.

Someone is going to appreciate me. Every word I say, I mean. I love him with candlelight dinners. I love him with warm, honest hugs. I love him with kisses.

Someone is going to appreciate me. When I kiss him I pay attention to his reaction and study the way he feels. I want to kiss him right. When I love him I pay attention to his reaction and study the way he feels. I want to learn how to love him right. I want to please him.

Someone is going to appreciate this. My time, my money, my gifts, my flowers, my power, my integrity, my poise, my elegance, my love scenario. I rub his feet, it’s my way of saying, “I enjoy your body.” I buy him gifts as my way of saying, “Thank you for your company.” I think highly of my man. He is a hard worker. He is gentle. He is kind. He pleases me and he wants to and I am pleased to please him. I enjoy loving. It’s my desire and he desires me. I am not angry with my past. I am not defeated. I love freely. Free of yesterday’s bondage. Optimistic. And someone is going to appreciate that I dress for him. I smell good for him. I stay up late and conversate what’s on his mind. I make time for him. I stay fit for him. I have no problem being for him.

Someone is going to appreciate me and me for me like I am for him. Because a good man, I appreciate." --Chrisette Michelle

In a recession...everybody's a Christian

Preface: This will not be the most politically correct blog ever. It is just my observation and does not directly reflect the ideas/opinions of anyone but me.

lol...now that that's out of the way.

Am I the only one that's noticing that more people are "turning to God" all of a sudden. These same people who will sleep with tons of people, do drugs, listen to gangster rap...are now telling me to "pray about it" when I'm having a problem. I'm sorry...WHAT?! Let's not be a hypocrit, please. The same people who shack up and live in sin are telling me what Jesus would do. Ummm madame, what's your life about? Please. This recession is turning everyone into a Christian or maybe they are pretending just in case...Just in case what? I don't know. I guess they are hoping to keep their jobs, homes, cars, etc. and this is their answer. And if it's what you truly believe, that's fine. But don't be a Christian out of convenience or worse...fear. Do it because you believe...in all that the religion represents and you live accordingly. You can't say one thing and do another. You can half ass a lot of things but religion is not one of them. Half stepping will not get you into the pearly gates you seek. Hell, you're not even sure they exisist...you're just hoping. And that's what faith is...it's hope. But you can't have selective hope...it's all or nothing, friends.

I swear, if I see one more Facebook status about how people are hoping God blesses them or that they are giving Him all the glory I may scream. Seriously, either you are a believer all the time or not. I think religion brings people comfort in uncertain times. Gives people something to believe in...and that's cool. But please do it for the right reason. Don't be scared into religion.

Finding Happiness

"You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer."

Powerful statement, right? Never thought of it like that. I, like most people I'm sure, want to be happy but we get so caught up in the things we don't have or have not achieved. And in order to find that happiness we seek, there comes a point where we have to realize that fair is for the next life. Your life may not be what you want it be (yet). You may not have your dream job, car, house, lover/partner/mate, etc. But yet in still, we should be happy everyday. Happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.

It's not me, it's you

I've been doing a lot of self-reflection lately...realizing things about myself that I never paid attention to. I've been accused of being intimidating, and rightfully so. I never considered myself to be intimidating or at least not intentionally. When someone told me that, I was I had to take a poll. I couldn 't believe the results. Survey says: Yes, Ashley you are intimidating. ::gasp:: Then, I was like damn, I kinda feel bad that people are intimidated by me. But then, I realized...that's not MY fault. If people were secure in themselves and their abilities then I wouldn't intimidate them. Yes, I have a strong personality and yes there are very few people in this world that I will take shit from but...I don't know. Even though at first I almost took offense, now I see it as a compliment. It means that I'm not one of those people that you can say or do anything you want to. Now, I can see how I'm intimidating to men. I'm smart, attractive, classy...I have a job, all my teeth, etc. So I can see how men could not want to approach me because they can't just say anything to me. I'm not one of those women that responds to "Ay girl" or "Lemme holla at you for a minute." From just looking at me they should be able to tell that I'm not going for that. And I feel bad for those women who have self-esteem low enough to respond to that. My standards are high and I won't apologize for it. Either you come correct or take your moment of silence and keep on walking. But women?! C'mon! Give me a break! For the life of me I cannot understand how I could intimidate another woman. Please...if someone can tell me how I'll give them $5. Seriously?! Is your self-esteem THAT low? Are you not confident in yourself or comfortable in your own skin? Seek professional help...it's called self esteem - esteem of self...I can't help you with that.

Another thing I've discovered about myself is that my patience is very selective. Until about a week ago I considered myself to be a very patient person (i.e. I've put up with a lot of stuff) but there are some things that I just don't have patience for, like stupidity. I believe that there is a such thing as a dumb question. Maybe these people are my test and they are teaching me to grow into a more patient person, which could be my preparation for another phase in my life (marriage, motherhood, etc.) So, I'm trying to keep that in mind because I realized, just recently, that no one comes into your life by accident. Regardless of the situation, there is always something to be learned.

Pray my strength...