So, I've been a little hesitant to blog about this but here goes nothing. Today marked the day that I ended a 3 year relationship. I can't believe I actually did it. While I feel...relieved. I also feel guilty. Guilty because I should have done it sooner. Guilty because I hurt him. Guilty because I love him...still. Guilty because I did something for myself...finally. Is that weird? I mean, I know this is best...for me. But why do I feel so bad? How long will it be before I don't feel horrible? I feel horrible about putting myself first...wow.
It's weird though. I never thought I'd feel this way. When I told my best friend she said, "Well...you're a free woman now." Free? From what? It won't stop me from thinking about him. Wondering what he's doing...who he's with...if he's thinking about me.
Needless to say...it's going to take time. So let's mark this day one. Day one of healing...Day one of putting me first. Day one of learning the virtue of patience.
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