When will it stop? *screams loudly* Ugh... I hate that feeling of regret. As if I've made the biggest mistake of my life. You know that feeling at the bottom of your stomach that says "Something's not right here!" Or when you feel something (or someone in this case) tugging at your heartstrings.
While I know the decision I made is what's best for me right now I just don't like feeling like this. The first few days were fine but now I'm second guessing myself. Dammit... I love him. There's no denying that... so why can't he hurry up and be the man I need him to be? Am I wrong? I mean, I know you're thinking, "Ashley it takes time." Well dammit, how much longer? I want so bad to call him and tell him how sorry I am but I know that would not be appropriate. I still want him in my life but I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to speak to me right now.
This is going to be the longest weekend EVER! Ugh! I hate this emotional rollercoaster!!! I want off this ride...NOW!
2 comments:
This is why we are long lost twins. I have definitely been there more times that I'll ever admit, but I am not going to give you the "textbook" answer and be like "it's for the best... blah blah blah" because I hate when people do that to me. What I will tell you is to follow your heart. Like, if you really still want to be with ol' boy, you should talk to him, and you both should set the terms of the relationship. I don't advice you to go back to the same BS that made you unhappy, but if your heart is still with him (and his with you), then you owe it to one another to work on the things that bother you about the other. Then, if it doesn't work out, you can say, "Well, at least we tried." Stay up. Love ya.
See but following my heart is what got me into this mess. I didn't listen to my head when it told me "This is not what you need, Ashley. You deserve better."
After loving someone for 3 years the S!&^ just doesn't go away. It will never go away. I will always love him. And who knows what the future will bring. If it's meant to be it'll be. We may see each other in a year or so and the connection might still be there and then we'll see. But until then... I gotta do me.
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